The following article was found in an archive of the Bay Area Reporter, Volume 30, Number 33, 17 August 2000. This article was written by Patrick Califia-Rice, a bisexual trans man, about an upcoming panel for preventing HIV and AIDS in FTMs. Note: This article is NSFW!You're invited to a 'T'* party
by Patrick Califia-Rice
Every two and three months, the sexual pressure just gets to be too much for Lenny**. He goes to a cruisy adult bookstore, gets down on his knees in a video cubicle, and sucks cock until his throat is sore. One in a while, he's taken his pants down just far enough to let somebody fuck him. Because he doesn't have sex very often, he usually feels too desperate to insist that the other guy use a condom. If his trick offers to blow him, Lenny freaks out and leaves. Once he gets home, he jacks off frantically. After he gets off, he wonders if this is all life has to offer. He'd like to have a fuck buddy or a lover, but is too scared to try for that much intimacy.
None of Roger's friends can deal with his new lover, Greg. They don't approve of the man in his life. Roger has put up with a lot of rough teasing that isn't very funny. His neighbor are also unfreidnly, and snub or harass the two of them when they go out together. Roger has a lot of questions about this new kind of relationship, but can't seem to find any resources that would answer them. He feels isolated. Sometimes this causes so much tension that he and Greg fight, even though they really love each other.
You probably think that Lenny is a closeted gay man who feels guilty about having sex with other guys. And Roger sounds like someone who's just come out whose straight friends can't cope with him being gay. But in fact Lenny is a female-tomale transsexual (FTM) who, thanks to testosterone and chest surgery, never has his male identity questioned in public. But he hasn't had any genital surgery. He's afraid other gay men will not accept him as male if he reveals his transgendered status, so he can't have reciprocal sex. He feels that he's lucky to have any sex at all with other guys. Pulling out a condom might result in Lenny losing the little bit of pleasure and validation he gets from "casual" public sex. So he takes his chances.
Roger may sound to you like somebody who has just come out, but he's been very public about his homosexuality for years. His new lover is an FTM, and Roger's friends are reacting as if he hooked up with a woman. To them, being a gay man is all about having a dick, even though most of them are bottoms. Greg's parts work just fine, and it's unlikely that he will ever have them surgically altered. Genital surgery for FTMs is very expensive and in the U.S. must be paid for by the individual. The medical technology isn't nearly as good as it is for male-to-female transsexuals. To Greg, the risk of losing the ability to have an orgasm is just not worth it. There's no organization for FTMs and their significant others where Roger and Greg live, so they have to figure out their lives alone while both gay and straight people disapprove of what they are doing.
A recent study by the San Francisco Department of Public Health and the Transseuxal Community Health Project interviewed 123 FTMs about their HIV risk behavior. Fifty-one percent of the sample identified as gay or bisexual. While the rate of HIV prevalence was low (1.6 percent), 28 percent of the respondents said they had unprotected receptive anal sex. Almost two-thirds had unprotected vaginal intercourse. About one-third of the respondents had been diagnosed with an STD. Among the 18 percent of them who injected recreational drugs, 91 percent had shared needles. There's clearly a potential problem here. Yet there's been almost no HIV prevention education aimed at FTMs and their partners, and AIDS services organizations rarely include FTMs in their mission statements.
One HIV prevention agency, the Stop AIDS Project, is taking the steps to address the needs of FTMs proactively. Thanks to Willy Wilkinson, a group of FTM volunteers, and Darlene Weide at the Stop AIDS Project, a space is being created for dialogue between queer FTMs and biomen***. You may think that you know everything about having sex with other guys. But if you come to this forum, chances are good you'll be surprised. A panel of gay/bisexual FTMs and biomen will tell their stories and talk about how they view one another. There will be time for questions and discussion.
"T for Two" will be held Thursday, August 24, at 7 p.m., in the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy at 4235 19th Street. The forum is co-sponsored by Tranny Fest, Harvey Milk Institute, and FTM International. Satisfy your curiosity about this new aspect of your community. If you think there's more to your gay identity than what's in your genes or your jeans, we'll expect to see you there.
*"T" is tranny slang for testosterone.
**The names of the characters in this article are fictitious, although the incidents described are true.
***"Biomen" is FTM slang for genetic males.
Patrick Califia-Rice is in the early stages of gender transition. Under the name Pat Califia, he has written more than two dozen fiction and nonfiction books about queer sex and the politics of desire. He's also in private practice as a therapist.
Patrick Califia-Rice © 2000
